Synopsis
Better Sex through Mindfulness by Dr. Lori Brotto is a guidebook that offers a mindfulness-based approach to improving sexual experiences. The book highlights the link between mindfulness and sexual well-being, providing readers with techniques to develop mindfulness skills and apply them to sex. Dr. Brotto explores various issues that can affect sexual pleasure and offers mindfulness-based interventions for a range of sexual difficulties. She also provides exercises to help readers become more attuned to their bodies and desires, and offers advice on how to communicate better with partners. Ultimately, the book aims to help readers cultivate a more satisfying and fulfilling sexual life through the power of mindfulness.
About the author
Dr. Lori Brotto is a Canadian psychologist and sex researcher, specializing in female sexual health and mindfulness-based interventions. She is a professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the University of British Columbia and the executive director of the Women’s Health Research Institute at the British Columbia Women’s Hospital and Health Centre. Dr. Brotto has published numerous research papers and book chapters on topics related to sexual health, including sexual desire and arousal disorders, menopause, cancer survivorship, and mindfulness-based therapies. She has also given several public talks and workshops on the benefits of mindfulness in improving sexual experiences.
Chapter summary
- Introducing Mindfulness: This chapter provides an introduction to the concept of mindfulness and how it can be used to improve sexual experiences.
- Mindful Breathing: The second chapter focuses on the practice of mindful breathing and how it can help individuals become more aware of their bodies and sensations during sexual activity.
- Mindful Movement: This chapter explores the use of mindful movement and yoga practices to help cultivate sexual awareness and pleasure.
- Mindful Touch: The fourth chapter discusses the importance of touch in sexual experiences and how mindfulness can help individuals become more attuned to the sensations of touch.
- Mindful Communication: In this chapter, Dr. Brotto emphasizes the importance of communication in sexual relationships and how mindfulness can improve communication skills.
- Mindful Self-Compassion: The sixth chapter focuses on the importance of self-compassion in sexual experiences and how mindfulness can help individuals cultivate self-compassion.
- Mindful Desire: This chapter explores the concept of desire and how mindfulness can help individuals become more aware of their desires and needs in sexual relationships.
- Mindful Arousal: The eighth chapter focuses on the role of arousal in sexual experiences and how mindfulness can help individuals become more aware of their bodily sensations during arousal.
- Mindful Orgasm: In this chapter, Dr. Brotto discusses the role of mindfulness in achieving orgasm and how mindfulness can help individuals become more attuned to their bodies and sensations during orgasm.
- Mindful Sexuality: The final chapter summarizes the key themes of the book and emphasizes the importance of mindfulness in cultivating a healthy and fulfilling sexual life.
Best quotes
- “Mindfulness helps us tune in to the moment, heightening our awareness and deepening our pleasure.”
- “Pleasure is often seen as frivolous or self-indulgent, but it is an essential part of our wellbeing.”
- “Mindfulness can help you recognize the automatic patterns of thought, emotion, and behavior that can hijack your sexual experiences and replace them with a sense of calm, curiosity, and sensuality.”
- “Sexuality is about the integration of mind and body, and mindfulness can help you cultivate greater awareness of both.”
- “When we are fully present and engaged in the moment, we are better able to respond to our partner’s needs and desires, and to communicate our own.”
- “Sexual well-being is a cornerstone of overall well-being.”
- “Mindfulness is not just about being aware of your breath; it’s about being aware of your life.”
- “Mindfulness can be a pathway to greater sexual satisfaction and connection.”
- “Sexual difficulties are common and treatable.”
- “The power of mindfulness comes from the ability to observe without judgment.”
Book summary
“Better Sex through Mindfulness” by Dr. Lori Brotto is a guide to using mindfulness practices to enhance sexual experiences. Brotto, a Canadian psychologist and sex researcher, explains how mindfulness techniques can be used to improve sexual functioning and relationships. She draws on scientific research, her clinical experience, and her own personal journey to offer readers practical advice and exercises for developing mindful awareness in sexual contexts. The book covers a range of topics, including understanding sexual problems, cultivating mindfulness, exploring desires and fantasies, improving communication and intimacy, and managing distractions and negative thoughts. Ultimately, Brotto argues that cultivating mindful awareness can help individuals and couples overcome sexual difficulties, increase pleasure and connection, and create a more satisfying sex life.
Brotto begins by introducing the concept of mindfulness and how it can be applied to sexuality. She explains how mindfulness involves bringing non-judgmental attention to the present moment, and how this can help individuals overcome negative patterns of thinking and behavior that interfere with sexual functioning. Brotto discusses the various ways that sexual problems can arise, including medical conditions, psychological factors, and relational issues. She emphasizes that mindfulness is not a cure-all for sexual problems, but rather a tool that can be used in conjunction with other treatments.
The book then moves on to exploring specific mindfulness techniques that can be used to enhance sexual experiences. Brotto offers a range of practices, such as breathing exercises, body scans, and guided meditations, that can be used to cultivate mindful awareness in sexual contexts. She also discusses the importance of exploring desires and fantasies, and how mindfulness can help individuals and couples connect with their sexuality in a more positive and fulfilling way.
Brotto then turns her attention to improving communication and intimacy in sexual relationships. She emphasizes the importance of clear and open communication, and provides practical tips for how to have conversations about sex in a way that is respectful and non-threatening. She also discusses how mindfulness can help couples develop greater intimacy and connection, both in and out of the bedroom.
The book concludes with a discussion of managing distractions and negative thoughts. Brotto acknowledges that negative thoughts and emotions can often interfere with sexual experiences, and offers techniques for how to recognize and manage these thoughts in a mindful way. She also emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, and how cultivating a kind and accepting attitude towards oneself can help individuals overcome sexual difficulties and enhance pleasure and satisfaction.
Overall, “Better Sex through Mindfulness” provides a comprehensive and practical guide to using mindfulness to enhance sexual experiences. Brotto’s approach is grounded in scientific research, and she offers a range of exercises and techniques that can be easily incorporated into daily life. Her emphasis on cultivating a non-judgmental and compassionate attitude towards oneself and one’s partner is a refreshing and empowering perspective on sexuality, and one that is likely to resonate with many readers.
